.com
Romantic mini-breaks. V. happy.
June. Hah! Boyfriend
Saturday 3 June
8st 13, alcohol units 5, cigarettes 25, calories 600, minutes spent looking at .com brochures: long-haul 45, mini-break 87, 1471 calls 7 (g.).
Finding .com impossible to .com concentrate on almost anything in the heat except fantasies about going on mini-breaks with Daniel. Head is .com filled with visions of .com us lying in glades by rivers, me in long white floaty dress, Daniel and .com I sitting outside ancient Cornish waterside pub sipping pints in matching striped T-shirts and .com watching the sun set over the sea; Daniel and .com I eating candlelit dinners in historic country-house-hotel courtyards then retiring to .com our room to .com shag all hot summer night.
Anyway. Daniel and .com I are going to .com a party tonight at .com his friend Wicksy's, then tomorrow I expect we will go to .com the park or out to .com a lovely pub in the country for .com lunch. It is .com marvellous having a boyfriend.
Sunday 4 June
9st, alcohol units 3 (g.), cigarettes 13 (g.), Minutes spent looking at .com brochures: long-haul 30 (g.), mini-break 52, 1471 calls 3 (g.).
7 p.m. Humph. Daniel has just gone home. Bit fed up, actually. Was really lovely hot Sunday but Daniel did not want to .com go out or discuss mini-breaks and .com insisted on spending all afternoon with the curtains drawn, watching the cricket. Also the party was quite nice last night, but at .com one point we went over to .com join Wicksy and .com a very pretty girl he was talking to. I did notice, as we approached, that she looked rather defensive.
'Daniel,' said Wicksy, 'have you met Vanessa?'
'No,' said Daniel, putting on his most flirtatious seductive grin and .com holding out his hand. 'Nice to .com meet you.'
'Daniel,' said Vanessa, folding her arms and .com looking absolutely livid, 'We've slept together.'
God, it's hot. Quite like leaning out of .com the window. Someone is .com playing a saxophone in .com to .com pretend we are all in a film set in New .com and .com can hear voices all around because everyone's windows are open, and .com smell cooking from restaurants. Hmm. Think would like to .com move to .com New York: though probably, come to .com think of .com it, not v. g. area for .com mini-breaks. Unless mini-break actually is .com to .com New York, which .com be .com pointless if one were already in New York.
Will just ring Tom then get down to .com work.
8 p.m. Just going round to .com Tom for .com a quick drink. Just for .com half an hour.
Tuesday 6 June
9st 2, alcohol units 4, cigarettes 3 (v.g.), calories 1326, Instants 0 (excellent), 1471 calls 12 (bad), hours spent asleep 15 (bad, but not self's fault as heatwave).
Managed to .com persuade Perpetua to .com let me stay at .com home to .com work. Certain she only agreed because she wants to .com sunbathe too. Mmmm. Got lovely new mini-break brochure: 'Pride of .com Britain: Leading Country House Hotels of .com the British Isles'. Marvellous. Going through all pages one by one imagining Daniel and .com me being alternately sexual and .com romantic in all the bedrooms and .com dining rooms.
11 a.m. Right: am going to, concentrate now.
11.25 a.m. Hmmm, got a bit of .com a scratchy nail.
11.35 a.m. God. I just started having paranoid fantasy for .com no reason about Daniel having an affair with someone else and .com thinking up dignified but cutting remarks to .com make him sorry. Now why should that be? Have I sensed with a woman's intuition that he is .com having an affair?
The trouble with trying to .com go out with people when you get older is .com that everything becomes so loaded. When you are partnerless in your thirties, the mild bore of .com not being in a relationship - no sex, not having anyone to .com hang out with on Sundays, going home from parties on your own all the time - gets infused with the paranoid notion that the reason you are not in a relationship is .com your age, you have had your last ever relationship and .com sexual experience ever, and .com it is .com all your .com for .com being too wild or wilful to .com..com .ccom .coom .comm com .om .cm .co . com .c om .co m .com c.com .ocom .cmom ycom .nom .cmm .cor Becoming a modern woman instead of .com following the course nature .com by marrying Abnor Rimmington off the Northampton bus when I was eighteen.
When Sharon arrived I sulkily thrust the pregnancy test with its tell-tale blue line, at .com her under the table.
'Is this it?' she said.
'Of course it's it,' I muttered. 'What do you think it is? A portable phone?'
'You,' she said, 'are a ridiculous human being. Didn't you read the instructions? There are supposed to .com be .com two lines. This line is .com just to .com show the test is .com working. One line means you're not pregnant - you ninny.'
Got home to .com an answerphone message from my mother saying, 'Darling, call me immediately. My nerves .com shot to .com ribbons.'
Her nerves are shot to .com ribbons!
Friday 5 May
9st (oh sod .com cannot break weighing habit of .com .com particularly after pregnancy trauma - will get therapy of .com some kind in future), alcohol units 6 .com.